Comments on: OMG you HAVE to read this, THis is the BEST story EVA.

By: John

John — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

same as zis

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Al5XmqegpaSjNsNLtYex9Ursy6IX;_ylv=3.qid=20090822025108AAR40mA

By: washingmachine_

washingmachine_ — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

It’s not quite up to Stephen King’s standards now is it.

By: Ryan

Ryan — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

nice

By: 993770243

993770243 — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

i think what you have is pretty good. There were a couple of spelling mistakes, but that doesn’t matter. I thought it was really good for a 13 year old. I’m a junior in college.

By: i know i know my name so cool :)

i know i know my name so cool :) — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

i actually very much liked it eh. tell me when it’s published.XD i’ll so buy.

By: Jessica F

Jessica F — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

Well, you said “Our house” twice in the first paragraph, and it got a little repetitive.
Also, you spelled “storey” wrong. It should be “story”. I just thought you should know, because typos and errors turn off readers.

I wasn’t really sure what your whole story is about.
Do you have a plot. Or are you just writing as you go.

**I do agree: avoid cliches, and your age shouldn’t be an excuse. Sure you can’t really compare the writing of a 12 year old, to an 23 year old. But I would read your dialogue aloud, and try to come up with natural, realistic sounding responses.

By: Vivien Marie

Vivien Marie — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

nice.the last sentence left a mystery in my mind.i’m 12 years old.and please please please answer mine.thank you.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Asw0EUcitoee80Yoeb1rGJzsy6IX;_ylv=3.qid=20090815182820AAqLykB

By: lintu

lintu — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

Straight to Hell, then.

Age isn’t an excuse if you’ve taken up writing, by the way.

You seem to have lots of repetition. Our house, house house house, our house.

Dialogue seems a bit forced, even though the whole thing isn’t half bad. By the way. I think fertilizer pretty much wreaks too much to be sat on.

Also, refrain from adding things (like this). You can always just say normally that you made it in school, it would add to the description. Brackets make information unimportant and decorative.

Sometimes you butcher your sentences too short or let them run forever. Nobody likes handling a sentence of four lines and cutting them right before they start sounding good is worse. Watch out for that.
The description of Meg is an example.

Using clichés like “that would change my life forever” is like throwing an anvil off a bridge tied to your neck. You can build so much suspense when you write it your own way, this just kills an seriousness that said letter might actually have.

By: Ains

Ains — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

I read it before but it said it had been deleted.
it sounds good.
What does it say.
I want to know.
^_^
keep writing
GOOD LUCK.