OMG you HAVE to read this, THis is the BEST story EVA.

By on August 22nd, 2009

Hi, sorry about the title, but i had to get your attention didn’t i.

i mean, last time i posted a similar question i got no responses

so here goes,

what do you think of my story, i know there is a million questions asking this, but i really need opinions.

by the way i’m 13

here it is.

Our house sat on the very middle of a huge hill, our property stretched on at about a 50metre radius from our house. Our house was old, one of the houses you might have recognised if you came from the year 2000. It was a 2-storey weatherboard farmhouse. The curtains of the smallest upstairs bedroom were hanging out the window letting the wind blow them across till they almost touched the end of the house. I looked back at it, then on towards the small wooden garden shed down the path.

As I neared my destination I heard shuffling footsteps and whispers coming from the shed. I rapped the secret knock,.

The door swung open and the grinning face of my best friend, Jasmine, greeted me, I walked in and took my position on top of an old suitcase. Her twin brother Spencer was sitting cross-legged on a bag of fertiliser, flipping through a Car magazine and Sam was reclining against the wall , his dark chocolate brown hair blowing around from the breeze, making its way through a gap between 2 boards behind him

“Hey Spence, chuck us an oreo.”

Spencer rummaged in a decorated wooden box (Jaz and I made it in woodwork at school)) we kept hidden under a loose floorboard. He found the packet of Oreos amoungst goodies and quite forcefully threw me one, I wasn’t quite expecting it, and it hit me in the face, it was only a biscuit, but Spencer looked shocked that he’d hurt me.
“It’s ok Spence, I’m a bad catch” seeing his confused look I corrected myself “ I’m not very good at catching”
He didn’t reply, he was always shy when we all met up. Jaz smiled at me as though to say, he’ll be right. I knew he would, there’d been a million other awkward moments like these, I guess that’s what’s to be expected when your best friends brother has aspergers, specially when he fancies you.

“Where’s Toby.” I asked quizzically
“He had soccer practice” Sam answered
“Oh” I sighed, looking up out the windows onto the rolling hills, covered in towering skyscrapers and towers, which stretched on as far as I could see.
“So what’s up Jaz. I’ve gotta get back soon, mum and dad are going out and I have to look after Meg”
“uhh Liv.” Jaz said slowly, looking rather awkward
“What.” I replied, sensing something was wrong
“We’re moving”
My heart sunk, I thought it would sink down to my feet, my first best friend, my only best friend, was moving.
“Its only an hour away, you can come and visit in the hollidays and on the weekends, and I can come and visit you” Jaz added, moving towards me
“Why.” was all I could manage to choke out, tears streaming down my red face
“Well Dads a Space engineer, he got a job working on the new space crafts they’re designing, you know to take us to Mars”

I took a deep breath, I knew Mr Makenzie had a very important job, I knew that they had to design spacecrafts that could take people to mars, I knew earth was almost polluted beyond repair.

After a while I calmed down.
“I’ve gotta go” I told them and closed the door quietly behind me, I didn’t have the strength to slam it, despite the sadness and anger that was making me tremble from head to toe.

I walked back up the paved path to the house and saw my sister playing in the yard, she was 6 and people said, if we were the same age we’d have looked like twins, we had the same wavy dark brown hair, the same piercing blue eyes, even the same dimples when we smiled.

I swung the kitchen door open and found mum and Dad reading a letter at the bench. I looked over Dads shoulder and read the words that would change my life for ever.
I do have a plot planned out, this is only the first page, i have written more, but in my opinion its not as good.
I know there is another Q exactly the same as this, but nobody answered it, did they. i needed a more catchy title
Well i am almost 14, but still,

also thanx everyone for answering, i guess a catchy title is all it takes.