housework and men - how do you get a man to do as much around the house as you do.
By
on
March 6th, 2008
My husband used to come home from work 30 minutes after I arrived home from my job, sit on the couch turn on the tv and ask me ‘What’s for dinner.’ He also constantly complained about the house being dirty, yet WOULD NOT lift a finger to help clean. He behaved like this for 4 years until recently when I began sitting on the couch watching the tv, waiting for him to walk in to say ‘What are you making for dinner.’ The first time he was a bit shocked, but went straight into the kitchen and cooked. He has been doing this and a lot more household chores lately.
I feel it took me to start behaving like he does in order to get him to lend a hand. This is so sad, because we have been through he** getting to this point. He has called me lazy and messy. He even had an online affair because he thought I was pushing him into doing things he doesn’t want to do.
Does anyone else have a husband who won’t clean, yet moans that the house isn’t clean.
ChocLover says:
My husband never moans about the state of the place, I always do. I do all the housework, cooking, shopping etc as well as working 55 hours per week. He does around 50-70 hours per week and puts the rubbish out and does the ironing (he used to be in the Army). It is annoying though, sometimes I just want to sit infront of the tv all night too. I would never let him cook for me though, he’s hopeless but i don’t mind if he gets a takeaway for me when I can’t be bothered to cook.
March 6th, 2008 at 5:10 pm
The silent pen says:
Stop asking these questions and put the kettle on
March 6th, 2008 at 6:01 pm
NoWomanNoCry says:
I like to clean myself because if he does it, it will not be done right and ill have to redo it and thats just more work on me, if i do it, its right and no redo’ing lol
March 6th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
Carrie says:
Most men will relax after work if you always do the cooking, cleaning etc. But they still should be helping out on nights when you dont feel like cooking or when you are sick.
But im sorry this guy does not appreciate you at all by the sounds - whats he doing having an online affair. Just because you refuse to cook & clean some nights does not mean he can just go & have cyber sex.
March 6th, 2008 at 7:37 pm
Nick D says:
I complain if the house isn’t clean or if I don’t have clean cloths and especially if there are dirty dishes. But my wife doesn’t work a public job so I feel that doing those things is her job and a very important one. On the other hand if she worked a full time public job then I would feel ashamed if I didn’t help out and so should your husband.
March 6th, 2008 at 8:13 pm
RobisaLone says:
It takes us men some time to get to grips with the wife out at work, and not a housewife, you say slave that is the way you see it, me personally i like a nice house so i just get on with it
March 6th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
Tina says:
This is what I try to tell women who take charge and do it all and complain their husbands do not do anything around the house. If more women did this to men.there would be a lot less whining. Good for you.
March 6th, 2008 at 9:57 pm
fishriverfood says:
Dont do anything, See how fast things pill up.I have had brain surgery trust me when it comes right down to it he will help when you keed it,try making it a joint effort.Say lets go see what we have
March 6th, 2008 at 10:36 pm
Canan says:
If you’re working as much as he does and contributing all your income into the household, why are you even staying with somebody that makes you feel this way. That’s my two cents to all females in the free world.
I work considerably less than my spouse and hence contribute only a fraction into the household budget. Therefore I see it as my responsibility to keep the house in good shape (which I like to have neatly in any case). When I pick up more outside-work, my spouse picks up more work in the house as well.
March 6th, 2008 at 11:10 pm
poodle mom says:
i, personally, dont want my husband to help around the house. i take care of all the cleaning, cooking, laundry, and our son. im the wife, and i just believe its my “job”.
oh, and yes, i do also have a job outside the home.
March 7th, 2008 at 12:01 am
elvlayarvvi says:
personally, I would have ditched him as soon as that affair started.that’s just me.no excuse is a good excuse for an affair, ever.don’t let him blame you.I would have divorced.but, I don’t take any crap, lol. =) online or in person, cheating is cheating. =(.
I don’t have this problem, I am a stay at home mom, so, I do most of the cleaning, but, now and then, hubby has helped. =), so I can’t advise you there.my big concern is your husband having another affair =(.
March 7th, 2008 at 12:56 am
good hearted woman says:
A marriage suppose to be 50/50. If the wife works to help pay the bills, the husband should help with household chores.
This is something that should be discussed before marriage, because this puts alot of stress on a marriage.Alot more than one thinks. The wife is exhausted after working all day then coming home to cook, clean, grocery shop,pay bills and ect. and the husband wants to ask” why do you not want to have sex with me.”This is called lack of respect on his part. a marriage is a partnership. You didn’t marry him to be his mother.You must communicate with your husband and let him know that it would benefit him just as much or more if he would give you a helping hand in the evenings so quality time together could be shared between a husband and wife.That will open his eyes and he will be more than willing to help because all of us women know what a husband really wants from their wife, right.
March 7th, 2008 at 1:40 am
dad says:
We all need a wife like poodle mom. Don’t give me thumbs down I’m a single dad and do it all myself i need a break
March 7th, 2008 at 2:15 am
njss says:
I enjoy coming home to a clean house myself and hire a cleaner worth her weight in gold. Such a pleasure to come home to a neat and tidy house. I refuse absolutely to do the washing sorry I will give advice gladly—— the washing machine is automatic and easy and we have a large commercial tumble drier. Even the kids learnt to do their own washing.It is that easy. I do the cooking but love to be cooked for or taken out for a meal. Sometimes take aways—pizza,Chinese or just fish and chips.there is no way I know to have your other half do even half as much as you do. All you can do is hire help to make your life more bearable and sometimes even a bit pleasant.
March 7th, 2008 at 2:58 am
Country Mama says:
you did a good thing. There are some that do alot and some don”t
March 7th, 2008 at 3:32 am
midge1411 says:
You should have married me.
I clean, wash, iron and cook. Coming from a catering background I know what is clean . Funny though the first wife divorced me through lack of communication.
Blind to the fact that in the early days I would come home cook, clear up and do the dishes. then take my daughter to bed. Go for a shower. Then she would stay and talk in the kitchen. Later days she would just go watch the TV and bitch about we never talk. Well come and do the work together then we are in the same room and talking is easier. Nah the mong box wins.
She was a long haul stewardess so not at home half the month. So I guess I could have argued that her time at home she could do the housework, but that wasn’t fair no time.
Then we had the mans jobs: Buy a big house to renovate. Having skipped cooking because of the hours and family I learned a new trade as a joiner. So Bob the builder would go to work, ply his trade come home cook etc. Then work until the early hours room by room on the house over a few months. The kitchen was the last room torn back to bear brick, re wired etc. Each night the mess was cleared. On a couple of occations she had the audacity to sit on the patio with a friend drink wine and chat away all afternoon then walk in the house and complain about the debris on the floor. Kithchen complete the last task a tiny bit of painting. No she wouldn’t do it.
This isnt about women its about the attitude of individuals. You do because you see it needs to be done for the other person its done so I’m free to relax. With this type of person you have to set out the rules. Or it may be human nature.
My current wife cooks I help. I cook she’s off on the internet.
How do you have an affair on the internet.
March 7th, 2008 at 4:12 am
Beautiful says:
All are the same.
March 7th, 2008 at 5:04 am
gunslingerjosey says:
Conversely, how do you get a woman to do as much around and outside the house as you do. Man, I wish she would do car maintenance, change the oil, fix the plumbing, mow the lawn, do the landscaping, etc. etc. etc.
March 7th, 2008 at 5:49 am
Carly Sue says:
I’m a stay at home mom and sometimes, okay, most of the time, my husband has a hard time understanding why everything can’t be spotless and shirts ironed and dinner on the table homecooked every night. I do those most of the time because it is my job but I constantly have to remind him that I never “leave” my job for a weekend or evening I am ALWAYS working. When is my vacation time.
Seriously though the easiest way I can get him to clean the house or do something for me . . . I bride him with sex or a BJ. Man when I do that he is in there loading that dishwasher, getting the kids ready for bed and bringing me a glass of wine. Heck it works for us and both of us get what we want.
March 7th, 2008 at 6:34 am
MissE says:
I did have one like that. Then he wanted to kick out the cleaners. I told him sure, but then I kick out the lawnmower man. Needless to say the lazy skank chose to keep the cleaners.
My SO and I share the housework round about 50/50 We work fulltime hence the chores should be shared
March 7th, 2008 at 7:13 am